Category: Writers Block
Your smile must have great strength.
To swim from your shore to mine.
Your eyes must be as bright as the stars.
If I can feel them shine.
Your voice must be like angels.
If it caresses me while I sleep.
Your touch pulls me to the surface.
From agony ocean deep.
Your heart must dance to my music.
For our paces are as one.
Your passion must be intense.
If I bask in it like sun.
Your loyalty must be child like.
Because I cannot find its end.
Your faith in Allah is beautiful.
Tempting me to repent my sins.
Your personality charismatic.
Like a child's innocent smile.
I wish I could steal you from you.
And keep you for a while.
Kayla, this is really good; you should become a member of www.fictionpress.com. You can post poetry and stories. I think you would enjoy it. Again, good job.
I love it, it even rhymes, which I can never do with poetry. And its really pretty. You use ocean in a lot of your poems. I use the moon. We all have our little symbols don't we.
you read more than this poem? i'm impressed. and yes i love the ocean. i want to live by it someday. it is my magical fascination and my biggest symbol of all things really
I live by it, its not that special, it looks exactly like lake michigan, except its not as cold or salty. Plus, it has sharks and jellyfish and other such evil things in it.
No to me, it is the most beautiful part of nature. i grew up in brooklyn near the bay but not the ocean. it is amazing. such an unstopable symbolic force. i will live by it someday not the beach but a cliff overlooking open sea
Ooooo, I love it. My big symbols are Time, rain, fire, sun, and darkness... I'm very elemental. I love how you have the ocean as yours, to me it's the blood of the world, it's definitely Earth's most important aspect, and its tides are like Earth's heartbeat, so using it brings the meaning in to an even more timeless light... it's lovely.
I love it kayla!
it's great. and i read it just after i posted something of mine that sucks, this makes mine look even worse. lol good job
doubt it made yours look even worse. i highly doubt that lorrie. i love all your poems
You have some nice imagery here. From a technical standpoint, you have rhyme but precious little meter, which is a touch jarring for me personally (I like to have both, or none, but nothing in between). You definitely know how to put words together and be evocative, though, which is a nice talent. It doesn't ring of hollow thoughts and feelings. Well done.
I will take that as a compliment greg i think it is the closest i will ever come to one from you anyways.
It was definitely intended as a compliment, Kayla. I can't help but be thorough though.
yeah i understand. i am glad u speak your mind. meter is not my thing though. when i write, i actually put verry little thought in to it. i just write and let my emotions controll me u should read one of my other poems on the board i did in colaboration with one of my friends. CALLED IF U CAUGHT AN ANGELS TEARS. i would be interested to know your thoughts and to see if u can pick my stanzas out from his.